EDEN
By
Jeffrey Harper
And who is so barbarous as not to understand that the foot of a man is nobler than his shoe, and his
skin nobler than that of the sheep with which he is clothed, and not to be able to estimate the worth
and degree of each thing accordingly?
— Michaelangelo
The cabman looked at the pieces of silver, which, appearing very minute in his big, grimy palm,
symbolized the insignificant results which reward the ambitious courage and toil of a mankind whose
day is short on this earth of evil.
— Joseph Conrad
ACT I - SCENE 1
(Lights up on an art studio in the Scuola Internazionale d’Arte Figurativa in Rome, Italy. It is a hot July morning. The room is beautiful and simple: white-washed and terra cotta-colored walls, flecked with worn-away blue paint, clay pots and urns by the edge of the room. There are sculptors’ stands with sculpting tools, a small platform for a model, finished and unfinished small sculptures on shelves, a painted folding screen, a few chairs and a rough bench, a table with a loaded slide projector, and barrels of clay and boxes of artists’ materials. On the model stand is a clay sculpture of a female nude. Bright sunlight washes across the room from windows offstage. PHILIP KANE, 46, trim, tanned, battered by fatigue and recent events, waits by a sculpture stand. He wears chinos, loafers, and a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up and carries a canvas satchel of artist’s tools. By the door of the studio is ALFREDO SAVARESE, 53, very large, pock-marked, of irregular proportions, a man of volcanic passion, energy, humor and sorrow. His English is lightly accented—half-Italian, half-British.)
ALFREDO
(Indicating)
Signor, this is your stand. There is clay and an armature I’ve prepared for you. Victoria will join us for the lesson. I want the two of you to get started right away. Work quickly, please. I’ve seen the slides you submitted, but I want to see myself what you know and can do. I’ll be back soon. I have to make a call.
(Subtly boasting)
Regarding a commission. Scusi.
(He flips his cell phone open and leaves. Offstage in the hall, we hear ALFREDO and VICTORIA exchange “Buongiornos!” VICTORIA GALVANO, 26, enters. She is very beautiful, dressed in a light cotton dress. PHILIP takes note of her instantly and attempts to communicate in his hideous Italian.)
PHILIP
Buongiorno.
VICTORIA
(As she goes to the screen)
Buongiorno, signor.
PHILIP
E artiste?
VICTORIA
(About to go behind the screen)
Non.
PHILIP
Me, too. Non artiste—amateur—amatore?
(Indicating the temperature)
E muis—ah—molte…un giorno molte…caliente--
VICTORIA
(Nodding as she goes behind the screen)
Si.
(PHILIP’s cell phone goes off. He takes the phone out of his bag and answers.)
PHILIP
(With the easy familiarity and imminent irritation of the long-married)
Hi. You got my stuff with you? Thanks…Yeah, yeah, you’re in front. Can you bring it in? I’m waiting with another student for the teacher…Just park…Let one of the kids watch…Julie can…So she doesn’t have a license here…What dif—For Chrissakes, we’re in Rome.
(As PHILIP continues speaking, VICTORIA comes from behind the screen, lightly bundled in a thin cotton wrap. She goes to the model stand, moves the sculpture off the stand, then steps onto it and stands still. PHILIP glances at her with interest.)
PHILIP
Just tell them to shake their fist and honk the horn and they’ll be fine. All right, all right, can we talk about it later?
(Without ceremony VICTORIA suddenly opens her arms and drops the wrap and assumes a striking pose. She is stark naked and absolutely still.)
PHILIP
(Distractedly into phone)
You’ll have a good time at the beach. Yes, it’s going to be hot today. Hotter by the minute. Right. Thanks, bye.
(He closes his cell phone and stares at VICTORIA. It is a very long pause. ALFREDO stands at the edge of the doorway, silent, simply observing PHILIP, who is unaware of the teacher’s presence, consumed by VICTORIA’s beauty.)
PHILIP (CONT'D)
(Trying to get it together and continue pleasantries with VICTORIA.)
Ah, so, non e studente, ma modela. Si, Victoria?
(She does not respond or move a muscle.)
Bene.
(He resumes staring. ALFREDO steps into the room, with authority and muted displeasure.)
ALFREDO
What are you doing?
PHILIP
Uh, nothing.
ALFREDO
Exactly. And what did I ask you to do?
PHILIP
I’m sorry, I--
ALFREDO
What’s that in your hand?
PHILIP
It’s a cell phone--
ALFREDO
Do you sculpt with that?
PHILIP
No, I’m sorry, my wife called me--
ALFREDO
What do you do for a living?
(VICTORIA turns her head a little to look at ALFREDO. To VICTORIA)
Hold the pose.
(She turns her head back to the previous position.)
PHILIP
Now—nothing right now—I worked in medical supplies— I sold my business—but we just got back from overseas--
ALFREDO
A man of leisure. When you did work, did your employees take cell phone calls from their wives and boyfriends during meetings?
PHILIP
All right, I’ll put it away.
ALFREDO
In my studio there are no interruptions, except for scheduled breaks. Do you understand?
PHILIP
(Wanting to be done with it, even wondering about another teacher)
Fine.
(His cell phone goes off again. He looks at the phone, looks at ALFREDO, then turns off the phone.)
ALFREDO
And do not speak to the model when she is holding the pose. It is forbidden.
PHILIP
Understood.
ALFREDO
(To PHILIP)
Now, shall we work?
PHILIP
Yeah, sure.
(Still holding his cell phone, PHILIP picks up his satchel of artist’s tools, just as his wife, SARAH, 46, knocks on the open door to the studio and enters, carrying a bag of golf clubs and holding a cell phone. An attractive if not beautiful woman wearing slacks and a sleeveless cotton shirt, sunglasses and a hat. Distinctive white patches, free of all skin pigment, are visible on her arms, neck, and face. She is harried and irritable. She has a key ring wrapped around a finger. She subtly but distinctly shakes the keys—a nervous and repeated tic.)
SARAH
(To ALFREDO)
Perdone, signor.
(To PHILIP)
Here are your golf clubs. Why aren’t you answering your cell phone?
PHILIP
(Embarrassed)
Because we’re in the middle of a lesson.
SARAH
(Glancing at VICTORIA)
Lovely.
(Seeing his hands holding the cell phone and the satchel, then at VICTORIA)
I had to carry these up two flights of stairs--
PHILIP
Why didn’t one of the kids--
SARAH
(Overlapping on “didn’t”)
Because they don’t speak Italian, they wouldn’t let them in, the car’s double parked, we’re not a valet service--
PHILIP
All right, all right, I’m sorry. Thanks. Enjoy the beach.
SARAH
Oh. Thanks so much.
(Glancing at VICTORIA again)
I can see one good reason you want to stay—actually two—or three—a handful—no, really, handfuls when you get down to it. You’ll have to take up juggling – or jiggling.
ALFREDO
(Who has been biding his time, brewing and steaming)
Signora, please, what do you think you’re doing?
SARAH
I beg your pardon?
ALFREDO
What are you doing interrupting my class?
SARAH
(Not in a mood to be dressed down)
I’m very sorry and assure you it wasn’t my choice to deliver golf clubs around Rome--
ALFREDO
If your husband were meeting with his lawyer or being examined by a doctor, would you just barge in? Would you bring him his golf clubs in the middle of Sunday mass?
SARAH
(Overlapping on “middle”)
Please, I’m just not in the mood for this--
PHILIP
(Over her previous line)
Sarah--
SARAH
This is hardly a church--
ALFREDO
(Very angry)
Madam, this is my church, and I am its Pope, and you will not interrupt and desecrate this space--
(SARAH’s cell phone goes off. She answers it. PHILIP groans with shame as it rings.)
SARAH
(Into phone)
Yes, what?…Julie?…Why didn’t you…
(To PHILIP)
A cop made them move the car. They’re driving around Rome.
(Into phone)
Julie, wherever you are, just pull over and stop. I don’t care who comes along. No matter what they say, just stay in the car, and I’ll--
(The connection is lost.)
Hello? Hello? Jesus Christ, Philip--
PHILIP
Sarah, please--
SARAH
(On the verge of volcanic rage)
What? What, Philip? I am not the nanny!
ALFREDO
Signor Kane, I suggest you consider another teacher—you are wasting your time—and mine, which is far more valuable.
PHILIP
No, I’m sor—I’ll pay you for the lesson--
(The remark rocks ALFREDO.)
ALFREDO
You’ll what?
SARAH
Don’t worry, you’ll be paid for your time--
ALFREDO
How dare you—you think I’m some servant whose dignity--
PHILIP
No, I just--
ALFREDO
You rude, spoiled, untalented Philistines—you think I’m some shopkeeper selling culture and you can treat me like merchandise--
(Insistently, to VICTORIA, who again tilts her head)
Hold the pose--
(To PHILIP and SARAH)
You pathetic little clerks--
SARAH
Listen you pompous, pretentious poser--
PHILIP
Sarah--
SARAH
We just came from Africa--
PHILIP
(On the word “Africa” above, very agitated)
Stop it--
SARAH
Where I didn’t take shit from men with guns and machetes and blood on their hands--
PHILIP
(Exploding)
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
(Silence. SARAH is shaking. Her cell phone rings, then rings again. She answers it in a quiet voice, choked with emotion.)
SARAH
Where are you? Stay there. I’m coming…No, he isn’t.
(But she does not move.)
ALFREDO
This lesson is over. Victoria, I’ll be in my studio. Would you please bring me an espresso?
(VICTORIA nods, puts on her wrap and steps off the stand. To PHILIP)
Please collect your things, Signor. Victoria?
(VICTORIA and ALFREDO exit. PHILIP sits still as SARAH stands motionless.)
PHILIP
What about the kids?
SARAH
What about them? Have you decided to be a parent again?
PHILIP
For Chrissakes, Sarah--
SARAH
What? No, tell me, please. What am I missing? The widow Kane on tour with her teenage children--
PHILIP
This is what we agreed. I wanted to study sculpture, you picked the city--
SARAH
I saw you more in Afri--
PHILIP
(On “Afri,” angry, upset)
Enough with fucking Africa! I don’t want to hear about it! We’re here, for Chriss--
SARAH
Are you? Because I never see you—you’re gone before dawn every morning—we never make--
PHILIP
(On “make”)
I can’t sleep, the traffic, whatever, I’d rather walk the streets before going to classes--
SARAH
(She starts to jangle the keys in her hand.)
The kids wonder what’s going on with you—they miss you--
PHILIP
They’ve made friends here--
SARAH
We don’t do anything as a family—you barely speak to us—you’d rather play golf--
PHILIP
It’s the first time I’ve played since we got here—and how often do I see Stu--
SARAH
(Still jangling the keys)
He comes from Boston to play golf in Italy—ridiculous. I want to go away—to the beach, or lake, for a week--
PHILIP
Then go if you want. Take the kids--
SARAH
Oh, thanks. I meant us. I want us to go away--
PHILIP
That’s not the deal. I came here to sculpt. I want to learn how to sculpt. We’ve only been here a month and I still don’t have a teacher who speaks English. You know, when I worked absurd hours and made the big bucks, you never complained--
SARAH
That’s bullshit—it was completely differ--
PHILIP
Sure, you had a lovely house—you didn’t work—you still don’t work--
SARAH
Phil, for Chrissakes, you can’t be ser--
PHILIP
(With huge bitterness)
For once in my life, can I just have one thing to myself? Will you stop crapping in my mouth and telling me it’s dinner?
(SARAH stops, wounded and deeply unhappy. She jangles the keys in her hand, irritating her husband.)
PHILIP
Stop it--
SARAH
What?
PHILIP
Jangling those keys. When did you start this? All the time now--
SARAH
(Stopping it)
And?
PHILIP
It’s irritating.
SARAH
Sorry. It comes with being a wife.
PHILIP
You mean being my wife.
(Her cell phone rings again. And again. Finally she opens it and speaks softly.)
SARAH
Where are you? That’s not far…I’ll be there… It doesn’t matter, let them shout, Everybody shouts here.
(Insistent)
I said, it doesn’t matter.
(She hangs up, then to PHILIP)
Fine. We’re going away for a few days.
PHILIP
Do you need money? I’ve got dollars.
(SARAH looks at him and gestures: What do you care?)
SARAH
By the way, there’s a package for you. From Africa--
(Bitterly)
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to mention that word. And a letter from…They can’t find… his family. No word. From anyone.
(PHILIP nods. A beat)
This is not about the sculpture or the lessons.
(She starts to leave.)
PHILIP
Sarah--
(She turns)
One thing I will say about Africa. You told my teacher that we “didn’t take shit from men with guns and machetes.” But we did. In large amounts. They stuffed it down our throats.
(A beat)
Just for the record.
(A beat)
Even though you were very brave.
SARAH
Not any more. I hate what happened, but I want to live a normal life again. I wish you did, too.
(She exits, and we hear the keys jangle as she does. PHILIP sits there, dazed, then gets up goes to one of the shelves and takes one of the small sculptures, carries it near his stand, and places it on the model’s platform. ALFREDO enters, now calm, and having overheard much of Philip’s conversation with SARAH. He stands by PHILIP’s golf bag and pulls out a driver and examines it.)
ALFREDO
Ah, you are still here.
PHILIP
Yes, afraid so. I am very sorry, Signor Savarese.
ALFREDO
Are you happily married Mister Kane?
PHILIP
Please, call me Philip--
ALFREDO
So, Philip, are you happily married?
PHILIP
(Reflects)
Uh—I have been happy with my wife—and--
(A beat)
I have been—married—a very long time.
ALFREDO
Being happily married is not conducive to being a successful artist—unless like Picasso you are happily—and unhappily married—many times. At least, that is a self-serving observation I would like to be true.
PHILIP
So you--
ALFREDO
I am married—to my work. Happily and unhappily. At my stage in my life I’m not looking for a mate, but there are ways that one makes do—not just masturbation—but one makes do.
PHILIP
And do you …make do?
ALFREDO
I do, I do. Such treacherous words. For all the fuss, sex and marriage are no great accomplishments. The ugly, the stupid, and insane get married every day, yes?
PHILIP
And some don’t.
ALFREDO
Of course. This is your piece?
PHILIP
I finished it several days ago—working from a photograph--
ALFREDO
You think this is finished?
PHILIP
For now. I don’t know what more to do.
ALFREDO
Evidently. So, where were you in Africa?
(A pause)
PHILIP
Southern central.
ALFREDO
What were you doing there?
PHILIP
(Not enjoying this, considers his words)
Not much. Nothing really. Just watching. Looking.
ALFREDO
A safari? Did you see animals?
PHILIP
You could say that, yes.
ALFREDO
So why Rome?
PHILIP
(Happy to be off Africa)
My wife picked it. We wanted to see—experience—something…beautiful.
ALFREDO
But why sculpture?
PHILIP
I’ve always done it—but never seriously. Between work, kids, never had time. Now, for once, I just want to make something that’s mine alone. That no one can touch.
(A beat, then intensely)
That nobody can fuck with. You probably think that’s --
ALFREDO
The first intelligent thing I have seen or heard from you. In classical sculpture, the length of a human body is how many heads?
PHILIP
I don’t know—how many?
ALFREDO
Seven-and-a-half.
(ALFREDO stands on the platform before the sculpture. He grasps the golf club.)
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
Victoria, are you in the hallway?
VICTORIA (offstage)
Si.
ALFREDO
Come in please.
(VICTORIA enters wearing her cotton wrap. ALFREDO places PHILIP’s sculpture on the floor. To VICTORIA)
ALFREDO
Will you please model the anterior supine position for us?
(VICTORIA removes her wrap and stands motionless, naked, in the anterior supine position: erect, hands by her side, palms open.)
Thank you.
(To PHILIP)
Where on the figure is the iliac crest?
PHILIP
I—uh—I ’m afraid I have no idea.
ALFREDO
Do you know, Signor Kane—Philip—that when anatomical dissections were first carried out in Europe they were conducted in churches?
PHILIP
No, I didn’t.
ALFREDO
Quite so. You see, the study of the body—the mystery of the human body—was once as sacred as the horror and mystery of death. Your wife thinks I am being pompous when I say my studio is a church--
PHILIP
I think she’s just angry at me--
ALFREDO
(Over his lines)
It’s all right. I don’t care. Most people think I’m pompous. Because I am. But that’s not my point. To treat the figure as anything less than sacred is, to me, you understand, an abomination. The body, like this golf club, is a work of precision.
(He pulls the club back and takes a practice swing.)
A driver like this is machine tooled to what degree do you think? Guess--
PHILIP
Hundredths, thousandths of an inch--
ALFREDO
(Lazily swinging the club)
All necessary in order to hit a little dimpled ball several hundred meters as part of an inane pastime in the culture of the clerks. Whereas, here in my classroom, I am asking you to take seriously the idea that a human being is for us, as human beings, a magnificent—the most wondrous—creation, infinitely more astounding, more finely tooled and constructed, than this cudgel of corporate America. Following me?
PHILIP
I think so.
ALFREDO
Do you think Victoria is beautiful?
PHILIP
Sure.
ALFREDO
So, describe—not Victoria—but her beauty.
PHILIP
I’m not sure I know where to begin—how to put it--
ALFREDO
Really? Or is it that you are so coarse and unimaginative that you can only think “My God, I’d like to fuck her”? Tell me, when did you last see beauty like this?
PHILIP
It's been a very long time since I’ve felt that anything is beautiful.
ALFREDO
Including your wife?
PHILIP
It’s complicated--
ALFREDO
Yes, so it sounded. I was eavesdropping.
(Still swinging the club)
So, you have never formally studied anatomy.
PHILIP
No, I’ve looked at books, but mostly figured out things on my own, done it sort of by feel--
ALFREDO
If you were sick, would you go to someone with no medical training, who’d never studied the body and its diseases?
PHILIP
You’d be surprised how many people in America do exactly that.
ALFREDO
Well, if you’re going to be my student, I’m going to ask you to be serious, to think and act precisely, to respect what we are doing here so that we can--
(With a powerful, walloping swing, ALFREDO rips the driver through PHILIP’s sculpture, tearing the head and upper torso off, but speaking as he does so.)
—drive out the bad—with the good.
(Pause)
PHILIP
You forgot to replace your divot.
ALFREDO
Ah, yes, you’re right.
(He puts some of the broken off clay on top of the sculpture, pats it, than pauses—and then violently stomps the rest of the sculpture with his foot into a pancake of rubble.
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
Now, while you clearly know nothing of anatomy, I still want to see how your untutored hands handle tools and clay in the presence of a model.
PHILIP
(A little stunned by the turn of events)
Oh. All right.
ALFREDO
Why? Do you not wish to pursue lessons?
PHILIP
No, that—um—that would be fine. But I was thinking along the lines of making something that lasts.
ALFREDO
That, Signor Kane, is a more problematic ambition. But if you are serious, perhaps we will arrive at a less destructive result.
(ALFREDO puts the driver back in PHILIP’s golf bag.)
PHILIP
May I ask a question?
ALFREDO
Yes?
PHILIP
Do you really believe--
(He stops.)
ALFREDO
Believe what?
PHILIP
(Darkly curious)
That the good can drive out the bad?
ALFREDO
Here—in this studio—I do.
(A pause)
Victoria, select another pose for our friend. Nothing too complicated, please.
(To PHILIP)
She will pose for fifteen minutes, rest for five, and repeat this six times.
(Following his request above, VICTORIA assumes a pose: right leg in front of left; right hand holding the back of head with her back arched; left arm with palm down at an angle to the floor.)
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
(To VICTORIA)
That’s fine. Rest if you’d like before you begin.
(Points to PHILIP’s ruined sculpture)
Signor, please return that clay to the bin. We mustn’t waste materials.
(VICTORIA goes behind the screen and comes back with a magazine. Naked, she sits in a chair and flips through the pages. A cell phone rings. PHILIP reacts instantly, but it is in fact ALFREDO’s phone.)
PHILIP
I turned it off--
ALFREDO
(Over PHILIP’s lines)
It’s not you. It’s mine.
(He pulls out his own cell phone and answers.)
Pronto! Eh, Roberto…Si…Si, si, bene. Un ora…Per il sua collezione? Bene…Okay, ciao.
(He closes his phone, looks at PHILIP.)
I permit myself to take phone calls and speak to the model because I’m both pompous and a hypocrite. A successful life involves managing one’s hypocrisy well, don’t you think?
(ALFREDO goes to a closet in the studio, opens it up and takes out a bag of golf clubs—his own.)
PHILIP
(Surprised)
You play?
ALFREDO
Spectacularly badly—at Aqua Centa, the first golf course in Rome, built in the late 1800s on the ancient Roman ruins of Appia Antica. It helps with the commissions. Where will you play—Olgiata?
PHILIP
Yes—how—?
ALFREDO
A monstrosity. McGolfing. An American-style planned community and country club—as authentic as putt-ing a colored ball through a clown’s mouth on Astroturf.
PHILIP
Signor, where did you learn such flawless, insulting English?
ALFREDO
Baltimore, Maryland—where I grew up. Many years ago. Ciao, Philip. I’ll leave some anatomy books for you downstairs with the secretary. Please start with the female torso, memorizing the skeletal structure. Come back tomorrow morning at 10:30. Ciao, Victoria.
VICTORIA
Ciao, bello.
ALFREDO
Oh, Signor Kane. The secretary explained my fees?
PHILIP
Yes.
ALFREDO
Higher than others, but as an artist I have a certain…reputation--
(ALFREDO starts to leave.)
PHILIP
(Bluntly)
Yes, as a second-rate artist.
(ALFREDO stops.)
PHILIP (CONT'D)
You don’t think I’d spend this much money without making inquiries, do you? No major shows, no gallery representation, scratching by doing cheezy portraits of rich American ex-pats.
ALFREDO
Hardly--
PHILIP
It’s all right. I don’t care. I can easily meet great artists by calling friends who’ll arrange lunch. Look: I have money. You want it. And I’m perfectly willing to give it to you, because I gather you can teach. Rather well. And I’m determined to learn. That should make both of us very happy.
(Pause. ALFREDO nods at PHILIP.)
ALFREDO
Signor.
(ALFREDO exits. VICTORIA gets up from her chair and starts to get on the stand.)
PHILIP
Actually, before we get started, may I ask you something?
VICTORIA
(Neither pleasant nor unpleasant)
Yes.
PHILIP
I see you speak English, too.
VICTORIA
Yes.
PHILIP
Where are--
VICTORIA
(Over his lines)
Ohio.
(She starts to assume the pose.)
PHILIP
One last thing: will you be posing tomorrow?
VICTORIA
No, I have another job.
PHILIP
Because I doubt I’ll get very far today, and if possible, I’d like you to pose over the weekend. If not, I could photograph you—the pose.
VICTORIA
(For the first time, a smile)
I can pose. I have lots of time this weekend.
PHILIP
Good. It seems I do, too.
(He looks at her intently. A pause)
Shall we?
VICTORIA
But there’s one condition.
PHILIP
Sure, what?
VICTORIA
That some day you’ll tell me all about Africa.
(Philip’s face darkens. She assumes the designated pose. PHILIP stares at her for a long time, then begins to mold his clay. Blackout.)
***
[END OF EXCERPT]
© Jeffrey Harper. May not be reproduced or transmitted without author’s permission.
By
Jeffrey Harper
And who is so barbarous as not to understand that the foot of a man is nobler than his shoe, and his
skin nobler than that of the sheep with which he is clothed, and not to be able to estimate the worth
and degree of each thing accordingly?
— Michaelangelo
The cabman looked at the pieces of silver, which, appearing very minute in his big, grimy palm,
symbolized the insignificant results which reward the ambitious courage and toil of a mankind whose
day is short on this earth of evil.
— Joseph Conrad
ACT I - SCENE 1
(Lights up on an art studio in the Scuola Internazionale d’Arte Figurativa in Rome, Italy. It is a hot July morning. The room is beautiful and simple: white-washed and terra cotta-colored walls, flecked with worn-away blue paint, clay pots and urns by the edge of the room. There are sculptors’ stands with sculpting tools, a small platform for a model, finished and unfinished small sculptures on shelves, a painted folding screen, a few chairs and a rough bench, a table with a loaded slide projector, and barrels of clay and boxes of artists’ materials. On the model stand is a clay sculpture of a female nude. Bright sunlight washes across the room from windows offstage. PHILIP KANE, 46, trim, tanned, battered by fatigue and recent events, waits by a sculpture stand. He wears chinos, loafers, and a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up and carries a canvas satchel of artist’s tools. By the door of the studio is ALFREDO SAVARESE, 53, very large, pock-marked, of irregular proportions, a man of volcanic passion, energy, humor and sorrow. His English is lightly accented—half-Italian, half-British.)
ALFREDO
(Indicating)
Signor, this is your stand. There is clay and an armature I’ve prepared for you. Victoria will join us for the lesson. I want the two of you to get started right away. Work quickly, please. I’ve seen the slides you submitted, but I want to see myself what you know and can do. I’ll be back soon. I have to make a call.
(Subtly boasting)
Regarding a commission. Scusi.
(He flips his cell phone open and leaves. Offstage in the hall, we hear ALFREDO and VICTORIA exchange “Buongiornos!” VICTORIA GALVANO, 26, enters. She is very beautiful, dressed in a light cotton dress. PHILIP takes note of her instantly and attempts to communicate in his hideous Italian.)
PHILIP
Buongiorno.
VICTORIA
(As she goes to the screen)
Buongiorno, signor.
PHILIP
E artiste?
VICTORIA
(About to go behind the screen)
Non.
PHILIP
Me, too. Non artiste—amateur—amatore?
(Indicating the temperature)
E muis—ah—molte…un giorno molte…caliente--
VICTORIA
(Nodding as she goes behind the screen)
Si.
(PHILIP’s cell phone goes off. He takes the phone out of his bag and answers.)
PHILIP
(With the easy familiarity and imminent irritation of the long-married)
Hi. You got my stuff with you? Thanks…Yeah, yeah, you’re in front. Can you bring it in? I’m waiting with another student for the teacher…Just park…Let one of the kids watch…Julie can…So she doesn’t have a license here…What dif—For Chrissakes, we’re in Rome.
(As PHILIP continues speaking, VICTORIA comes from behind the screen, lightly bundled in a thin cotton wrap. She goes to the model stand, moves the sculpture off the stand, then steps onto it and stands still. PHILIP glances at her with interest.)
PHILIP
Just tell them to shake their fist and honk the horn and they’ll be fine. All right, all right, can we talk about it later?
(Without ceremony VICTORIA suddenly opens her arms and drops the wrap and assumes a striking pose. She is stark naked and absolutely still.)
PHILIP
(Distractedly into phone)
You’ll have a good time at the beach. Yes, it’s going to be hot today. Hotter by the minute. Right. Thanks, bye.
(He closes his cell phone and stares at VICTORIA. It is a very long pause. ALFREDO stands at the edge of the doorway, silent, simply observing PHILIP, who is unaware of the teacher’s presence, consumed by VICTORIA’s beauty.)
PHILIP (CONT'D)
(Trying to get it together and continue pleasantries with VICTORIA.)
Ah, so, non e studente, ma modela. Si, Victoria?
(She does not respond or move a muscle.)
Bene.
(He resumes staring. ALFREDO steps into the room, with authority and muted displeasure.)
ALFREDO
What are you doing?
PHILIP
Uh, nothing.
ALFREDO
Exactly. And what did I ask you to do?
PHILIP
I’m sorry, I--
ALFREDO
What’s that in your hand?
PHILIP
It’s a cell phone--
ALFREDO
Do you sculpt with that?
PHILIP
No, I’m sorry, my wife called me--
ALFREDO
What do you do for a living?
(VICTORIA turns her head a little to look at ALFREDO. To VICTORIA)
Hold the pose.
(She turns her head back to the previous position.)
PHILIP
Now—nothing right now—I worked in medical supplies— I sold my business—but we just got back from overseas--
ALFREDO
A man of leisure. When you did work, did your employees take cell phone calls from their wives and boyfriends during meetings?
PHILIP
All right, I’ll put it away.
ALFREDO
In my studio there are no interruptions, except for scheduled breaks. Do you understand?
PHILIP
(Wanting to be done with it, even wondering about another teacher)
Fine.
(His cell phone goes off again. He looks at the phone, looks at ALFREDO, then turns off the phone.)
ALFREDO
And do not speak to the model when she is holding the pose. It is forbidden.
PHILIP
Understood.
ALFREDO
(To PHILIP)
Now, shall we work?
PHILIP
Yeah, sure.
(Still holding his cell phone, PHILIP picks up his satchel of artist’s tools, just as his wife, SARAH, 46, knocks on the open door to the studio and enters, carrying a bag of golf clubs and holding a cell phone. An attractive if not beautiful woman wearing slacks and a sleeveless cotton shirt, sunglasses and a hat. Distinctive white patches, free of all skin pigment, are visible on her arms, neck, and face. She is harried and irritable. She has a key ring wrapped around a finger. She subtly but distinctly shakes the keys—a nervous and repeated tic.)
SARAH
(To ALFREDO)
Perdone, signor.
(To PHILIP)
Here are your golf clubs. Why aren’t you answering your cell phone?
PHILIP
(Embarrassed)
Because we’re in the middle of a lesson.
SARAH
(Glancing at VICTORIA)
Lovely.
(Seeing his hands holding the cell phone and the satchel, then at VICTORIA)
I had to carry these up two flights of stairs--
PHILIP
Why didn’t one of the kids--
SARAH
(Overlapping on “didn’t”)
Because they don’t speak Italian, they wouldn’t let them in, the car’s double parked, we’re not a valet service--
PHILIP
All right, all right, I’m sorry. Thanks. Enjoy the beach.
SARAH
Oh. Thanks so much.
(Glancing at VICTORIA again)
I can see one good reason you want to stay—actually two—or three—a handful—no, really, handfuls when you get down to it. You’ll have to take up juggling – or jiggling.
ALFREDO
(Who has been biding his time, brewing and steaming)
Signora, please, what do you think you’re doing?
SARAH
I beg your pardon?
ALFREDO
What are you doing interrupting my class?
SARAH
(Not in a mood to be dressed down)
I’m very sorry and assure you it wasn’t my choice to deliver golf clubs around Rome--
ALFREDO
If your husband were meeting with his lawyer or being examined by a doctor, would you just barge in? Would you bring him his golf clubs in the middle of Sunday mass?
SARAH
(Overlapping on “middle”)
Please, I’m just not in the mood for this--
PHILIP
(Over her previous line)
Sarah--
SARAH
This is hardly a church--
ALFREDO
(Very angry)
Madam, this is my church, and I am its Pope, and you will not interrupt and desecrate this space--
(SARAH’s cell phone goes off. She answers it. PHILIP groans with shame as it rings.)
SARAH
(Into phone)
Yes, what?…Julie?…Why didn’t you…
(To PHILIP)
A cop made them move the car. They’re driving around Rome.
(Into phone)
Julie, wherever you are, just pull over and stop. I don’t care who comes along. No matter what they say, just stay in the car, and I’ll--
(The connection is lost.)
Hello? Hello? Jesus Christ, Philip--
PHILIP
Sarah, please--
SARAH
(On the verge of volcanic rage)
What? What, Philip? I am not the nanny!
ALFREDO
Signor Kane, I suggest you consider another teacher—you are wasting your time—and mine, which is far more valuable.
PHILIP
No, I’m sor—I’ll pay you for the lesson--
(The remark rocks ALFREDO.)
ALFREDO
You’ll what?
SARAH
Don’t worry, you’ll be paid for your time--
ALFREDO
How dare you—you think I’m some servant whose dignity--
PHILIP
No, I just--
ALFREDO
You rude, spoiled, untalented Philistines—you think I’m some shopkeeper selling culture and you can treat me like merchandise--
(Insistently, to VICTORIA, who again tilts her head)
Hold the pose--
(To PHILIP and SARAH)
You pathetic little clerks--
SARAH
Listen you pompous, pretentious poser--
PHILIP
Sarah--
SARAH
We just came from Africa--
PHILIP
(On the word “Africa” above, very agitated)
Stop it--
SARAH
Where I didn’t take shit from men with guns and machetes and blood on their hands--
PHILIP
(Exploding)
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
(Silence. SARAH is shaking. Her cell phone rings, then rings again. She answers it in a quiet voice, choked with emotion.)
SARAH
Where are you? Stay there. I’m coming…No, he isn’t.
(But she does not move.)
ALFREDO
This lesson is over. Victoria, I’ll be in my studio. Would you please bring me an espresso?
(VICTORIA nods, puts on her wrap and steps off the stand. To PHILIP)
Please collect your things, Signor. Victoria?
(VICTORIA and ALFREDO exit. PHILIP sits still as SARAH stands motionless.)
PHILIP
What about the kids?
SARAH
What about them? Have you decided to be a parent again?
PHILIP
For Chrissakes, Sarah--
SARAH
What? No, tell me, please. What am I missing? The widow Kane on tour with her teenage children--
PHILIP
This is what we agreed. I wanted to study sculpture, you picked the city--
SARAH
I saw you more in Afri--
PHILIP
(On “Afri,” angry, upset)
Enough with fucking Africa! I don’t want to hear about it! We’re here, for Chriss--
SARAH
Are you? Because I never see you—you’re gone before dawn every morning—we never make--
PHILIP
(On “make”)
I can’t sleep, the traffic, whatever, I’d rather walk the streets before going to classes--
SARAH
(She starts to jangle the keys in her hand.)
The kids wonder what’s going on with you—they miss you--
PHILIP
They’ve made friends here--
SARAH
We don’t do anything as a family—you barely speak to us—you’d rather play golf--
PHILIP
It’s the first time I’ve played since we got here—and how often do I see Stu--
SARAH
(Still jangling the keys)
He comes from Boston to play golf in Italy—ridiculous. I want to go away—to the beach, or lake, for a week--
PHILIP
Then go if you want. Take the kids--
SARAH
Oh, thanks. I meant us. I want us to go away--
PHILIP
That’s not the deal. I came here to sculpt. I want to learn how to sculpt. We’ve only been here a month and I still don’t have a teacher who speaks English. You know, when I worked absurd hours and made the big bucks, you never complained--
SARAH
That’s bullshit—it was completely differ--
PHILIP
Sure, you had a lovely house—you didn’t work—you still don’t work--
SARAH
Phil, for Chrissakes, you can’t be ser--
PHILIP
(With huge bitterness)
For once in my life, can I just have one thing to myself? Will you stop crapping in my mouth and telling me it’s dinner?
(SARAH stops, wounded and deeply unhappy. She jangles the keys in her hand, irritating her husband.)
PHILIP
Stop it--
SARAH
What?
PHILIP
Jangling those keys. When did you start this? All the time now--
SARAH
(Stopping it)
And?
PHILIP
It’s irritating.
SARAH
Sorry. It comes with being a wife.
PHILIP
You mean being my wife.
(Her cell phone rings again. And again. Finally she opens it and speaks softly.)
SARAH
Where are you? That’s not far…I’ll be there… It doesn’t matter, let them shout, Everybody shouts here.
(Insistent)
I said, it doesn’t matter.
(She hangs up, then to PHILIP)
Fine. We’re going away for a few days.
PHILIP
Do you need money? I’ve got dollars.
(SARAH looks at him and gestures: What do you care?)
SARAH
By the way, there’s a package for you. From Africa--
(Bitterly)
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to mention that word. And a letter from…They can’t find… his family. No word. From anyone.
(PHILIP nods. A beat)
This is not about the sculpture or the lessons.
(She starts to leave.)
PHILIP
Sarah--
(She turns)
One thing I will say about Africa. You told my teacher that we “didn’t take shit from men with guns and machetes.” But we did. In large amounts. They stuffed it down our throats.
(A beat)
Just for the record.
(A beat)
Even though you were very brave.
SARAH
Not any more. I hate what happened, but I want to live a normal life again. I wish you did, too.
(She exits, and we hear the keys jangle as she does. PHILIP sits there, dazed, then gets up goes to one of the shelves and takes one of the small sculptures, carries it near his stand, and places it on the model’s platform. ALFREDO enters, now calm, and having overheard much of Philip’s conversation with SARAH. He stands by PHILIP’s golf bag and pulls out a driver and examines it.)
ALFREDO
Ah, you are still here.
PHILIP
Yes, afraid so. I am very sorry, Signor Savarese.
ALFREDO
Are you happily married Mister Kane?
PHILIP
Please, call me Philip--
ALFREDO
So, Philip, are you happily married?
PHILIP
(Reflects)
Uh—I have been happy with my wife—and--
(A beat)
I have been—married—a very long time.
ALFREDO
Being happily married is not conducive to being a successful artist—unless like Picasso you are happily—and unhappily married—many times. At least, that is a self-serving observation I would like to be true.
PHILIP
So you--
ALFREDO
I am married—to my work. Happily and unhappily. At my stage in my life I’m not looking for a mate, but there are ways that one makes do—not just masturbation—but one makes do.
PHILIP
And do you …make do?
ALFREDO
I do, I do. Such treacherous words. For all the fuss, sex and marriage are no great accomplishments. The ugly, the stupid, and insane get married every day, yes?
PHILIP
And some don’t.
ALFREDO
Of course. This is your piece?
PHILIP
I finished it several days ago—working from a photograph--
ALFREDO
You think this is finished?
PHILIP
For now. I don’t know what more to do.
ALFREDO
Evidently. So, where were you in Africa?
(A pause)
PHILIP
Southern central.
ALFREDO
What were you doing there?
PHILIP
(Not enjoying this, considers his words)
Not much. Nothing really. Just watching. Looking.
ALFREDO
A safari? Did you see animals?
PHILIP
You could say that, yes.
ALFREDO
So why Rome?
PHILIP
(Happy to be off Africa)
My wife picked it. We wanted to see—experience—something…beautiful.
ALFREDO
But why sculpture?
PHILIP
I’ve always done it—but never seriously. Between work, kids, never had time. Now, for once, I just want to make something that’s mine alone. That no one can touch.
(A beat, then intensely)
That nobody can fuck with. You probably think that’s --
ALFREDO
The first intelligent thing I have seen or heard from you. In classical sculpture, the length of a human body is how many heads?
PHILIP
I don’t know—how many?
ALFREDO
Seven-and-a-half.
(ALFREDO stands on the platform before the sculpture. He grasps the golf club.)
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
Victoria, are you in the hallway?
VICTORIA (offstage)
Si.
ALFREDO
Come in please.
(VICTORIA enters wearing her cotton wrap. ALFREDO places PHILIP’s sculpture on the floor. To VICTORIA)
ALFREDO
Will you please model the anterior supine position for us?
(VICTORIA removes her wrap and stands motionless, naked, in the anterior supine position: erect, hands by her side, palms open.)
Thank you.
(To PHILIP)
Where on the figure is the iliac crest?
PHILIP
I—uh—I ’m afraid I have no idea.
ALFREDO
Do you know, Signor Kane—Philip—that when anatomical dissections were first carried out in Europe they were conducted in churches?
PHILIP
No, I didn’t.
ALFREDO
Quite so. You see, the study of the body—the mystery of the human body—was once as sacred as the horror and mystery of death. Your wife thinks I am being pompous when I say my studio is a church--
PHILIP
I think she’s just angry at me--
ALFREDO
(Over his lines)
It’s all right. I don’t care. Most people think I’m pompous. Because I am. But that’s not my point. To treat the figure as anything less than sacred is, to me, you understand, an abomination. The body, like this golf club, is a work of precision.
(He pulls the club back and takes a practice swing.)
A driver like this is machine tooled to what degree do you think? Guess--
PHILIP
Hundredths, thousandths of an inch--
ALFREDO
(Lazily swinging the club)
All necessary in order to hit a little dimpled ball several hundred meters as part of an inane pastime in the culture of the clerks. Whereas, here in my classroom, I am asking you to take seriously the idea that a human being is for us, as human beings, a magnificent—the most wondrous—creation, infinitely more astounding, more finely tooled and constructed, than this cudgel of corporate America. Following me?
PHILIP
I think so.
ALFREDO
Do you think Victoria is beautiful?
PHILIP
Sure.
ALFREDO
So, describe—not Victoria—but her beauty.
PHILIP
I’m not sure I know where to begin—how to put it--
ALFREDO
Really? Or is it that you are so coarse and unimaginative that you can only think “My God, I’d like to fuck her”? Tell me, when did you last see beauty like this?
PHILIP
It's been a very long time since I’ve felt that anything is beautiful.
ALFREDO
Including your wife?
PHILIP
It’s complicated--
ALFREDO
Yes, so it sounded. I was eavesdropping.
(Still swinging the club)
So, you have never formally studied anatomy.
PHILIP
No, I’ve looked at books, but mostly figured out things on my own, done it sort of by feel--
ALFREDO
If you were sick, would you go to someone with no medical training, who’d never studied the body and its diseases?
PHILIP
You’d be surprised how many people in America do exactly that.
ALFREDO
Well, if you’re going to be my student, I’m going to ask you to be serious, to think and act precisely, to respect what we are doing here so that we can--
(With a powerful, walloping swing, ALFREDO rips the driver through PHILIP’s sculpture, tearing the head and upper torso off, but speaking as he does so.)
—drive out the bad—with the good.
(Pause)
PHILIP
You forgot to replace your divot.
ALFREDO
Ah, yes, you’re right.
(He puts some of the broken off clay on top of the sculpture, pats it, than pauses—and then violently stomps the rest of the sculpture with his foot into a pancake of rubble.
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
Now, while you clearly know nothing of anatomy, I still want to see how your untutored hands handle tools and clay in the presence of a model.
PHILIP
(A little stunned by the turn of events)
Oh. All right.
ALFREDO
Why? Do you not wish to pursue lessons?
PHILIP
No, that—um—that would be fine. But I was thinking along the lines of making something that lasts.
ALFREDO
That, Signor Kane, is a more problematic ambition. But if you are serious, perhaps we will arrive at a less destructive result.
(ALFREDO puts the driver back in PHILIP’s golf bag.)
PHILIP
May I ask a question?
ALFREDO
Yes?
PHILIP
Do you really believe--
(He stops.)
ALFREDO
Believe what?
PHILIP
(Darkly curious)
That the good can drive out the bad?
ALFREDO
Here—in this studio—I do.
(A pause)
Victoria, select another pose for our friend. Nothing too complicated, please.
(To PHILIP)
She will pose for fifteen minutes, rest for five, and repeat this six times.
(Following his request above, VICTORIA assumes a pose: right leg in front of left; right hand holding the back of head with her back arched; left arm with palm down at an angle to the floor.)
ALFREDO (CONT'D)
(To VICTORIA)
That’s fine. Rest if you’d like before you begin.
(Points to PHILIP’s ruined sculpture)
Signor, please return that clay to the bin. We mustn’t waste materials.
(VICTORIA goes behind the screen and comes back with a magazine. Naked, she sits in a chair and flips through the pages. A cell phone rings. PHILIP reacts instantly, but it is in fact ALFREDO’s phone.)
PHILIP
I turned it off--
ALFREDO
(Over PHILIP’s lines)
It’s not you. It’s mine.
(He pulls out his own cell phone and answers.)
Pronto! Eh, Roberto…Si…Si, si, bene. Un ora…Per il sua collezione? Bene…Okay, ciao.
(He closes his phone, looks at PHILIP.)
I permit myself to take phone calls and speak to the model because I’m both pompous and a hypocrite. A successful life involves managing one’s hypocrisy well, don’t you think?
(ALFREDO goes to a closet in the studio, opens it up and takes out a bag of golf clubs—his own.)
PHILIP
(Surprised)
You play?
ALFREDO
Spectacularly badly—at Aqua Centa, the first golf course in Rome, built in the late 1800s on the ancient Roman ruins of Appia Antica. It helps with the commissions. Where will you play—Olgiata?
PHILIP
Yes—how—?
ALFREDO
A monstrosity. McGolfing. An American-style planned community and country club—as authentic as putt-ing a colored ball through a clown’s mouth on Astroturf.
PHILIP
Signor, where did you learn such flawless, insulting English?
ALFREDO
Baltimore, Maryland—where I grew up. Many years ago. Ciao, Philip. I’ll leave some anatomy books for you downstairs with the secretary. Please start with the female torso, memorizing the skeletal structure. Come back tomorrow morning at 10:30. Ciao, Victoria.
VICTORIA
Ciao, bello.
ALFREDO
Oh, Signor Kane. The secretary explained my fees?
PHILIP
Yes.
ALFREDO
Higher than others, but as an artist I have a certain…reputation--
(ALFREDO starts to leave.)
PHILIP
(Bluntly)
Yes, as a second-rate artist.
(ALFREDO stops.)
PHILIP (CONT'D)
You don’t think I’d spend this much money without making inquiries, do you? No major shows, no gallery representation, scratching by doing cheezy portraits of rich American ex-pats.
ALFREDO
Hardly--
PHILIP
It’s all right. I don’t care. I can easily meet great artists by calling friends who’ll arrange lunch. Look: I have money. You want it. And I’m perfectly willing to give it to you, because I gather you can teach. Rather well. And I’m determined to learn. That should make both of us very happy.
(Pause. ALFREDO nods at PHILIP.)
ALFREDO
Signor.
(ALFREDO exits. VICTORIA gets up from her chair and starts to get on the stand.)
PHILIP
Actually, before we get started, may I ask you something?
VICTORIA
(Neither pleasant nor unpleasant)
Yes.
PHILIP
I see you speak English, too.
VICTORIA
Yes.
PHILIP
Where are--
VICTORIA
(Over his lines)
Ohio.
(She starts to assume the pose.)
PHILIP
One last thing: will you be posing tomorrow?
VICTORIA
No, I have another job.
PHILIP
Because I doubt I’ll get very far today, and if possible, I’d like you to pose over the weekend. If not, I could photograph you—the pose.
VICTORIA
(For the first time, a smile)
I can pose. I have lots of time this weekend.
PHILIP
Good. It seems I do, too.
(He looks at her intently. A pause)
Shall we?
VICTORIA
But there’s one condition.
PHILIP
Sure, what?
VICTORIA
That some day you’ll tell me all about Africa.
(Philip’s face darkens. She assumes the designated pose. PHILIP stares at her for a long time, then begins to mold his clay. Blackout.)
***
[END OF EXCERPT]
© Jeffrey Harper. May not be reproduced or transmitted without author’s permission.
